Transcript of AE 1102 - The Goss: Where Did the Drop Bear Myth Came From?

G'day, you mob. Pete here, and this is another episode of Aussie English. The number one place for anyone and everyone wanting to learn Australian English. So, today I have a Goss' episode for you where I sit down with my old man, my father, Ian Smissen, and we talk about the week's news whether locally down under here in Australia or non-locally overseas in other parts of the world.

Okay, and we sometimes also talk about whatever comes to mind, right. If we can think of something interesting to share with you guys related to us or Australia, we also talk about that in The Goss'. So, these episodes are specifically designed to try and give you content about many different topics where we're obviously speaking in English and there are multiple people having a natural and spontaneous conversation in English.

So, it is particularly good to improve your listening skills. In order to complement that, though, I really recommend that you join the podcast membership or the academy membership at AussieEnglish.com.au, where you will get access to the full transcripts of these episodes, the PDFs, the downloads, and you can also use the online PDF reader to read and listen at the same time.

Okay, so if you really, really want to improve your listening skills fast, get the transcript, listen and read at the same time, keep practising, and that is the quickest way to level up your English. Anyway, I've been rabbiting on a bit, I've been talking a bit. Let's just get into this episode, guys. Smack the bird, and let's get into it.

Where did the drop bear myth come from, dad?

This is a great story.

Do you want to go through this one? You can read out the first bit of it.

No.

No, you don't want to?

Oh, no, no, no...

Just no, no, no.

The drop bear myth, which says, Australia is home to a killer species of koala that will jump from trees and latch onto you, has scared tourists for decades. But where did the myth come from?

To pause for- How epic would that be if we had this random- The other species that is most closely related to a koala is a predatory tree-bear-lion-thing that will fuck you up if you go camping and camp under the wrong tree. Like, how much would that change the- What would you say, the vocational or the vacation environment in Australia? You would be like, there are places you do not...

You don't go to the Drop Bear Valley. Yeah.

Anyway, keep going.

Yeah, so the next bit I'd actually never heard of.

What, that it came from the army...?

No.

...The Vegemite and everything?

Yeah, I'd never heard the Vegemite story...

Read that out for them.

...No, you-

All right. Have you ever plastered Vegemite all over your face? It's not the most fetching look and can take some time to scrub off. However, over the past 40 years that's exactly the look many a visiting US soldier has willingly worn. According to their so-called Aussie allies, smearing your cheeks and forehead in the yeast extract reduces the risk of being attacked by a drop bear.

After all, no one wants to be ripped to shreds by that carnivorous, long fanged relation of the koala that can silently drop from the trees onto their unsuspecting prey, do they? So, yeah, no, apparently, at least, according to this article and the gentleman who has the website. I'm trying to find it. Mythocreatology. Ian, who runs Mythocreatology. This originated...

Not this Ian.

Not this Ian. This originated in, I think, around the Second World War, right? With the allies working together with Americans...

...Talking about.

...Coming to Australia and this joke just kind of starting, right, with- I guess- I don't think drop bear was originally used...

No, but the concept.

...The concept of there being a dangerous animal in the trees.

Yeah. And if you wear Vegemite on your face, then it's going to, you know, prevent you from being attacked.

Or toothpaste behind your ears.

Yeah.

Yeah. And the whole point of that is obviously to just humiliate the person because there would be no other reason you would ever put that onto your body.

Because you're stupid.

But the interesting thing here that blew my mind was that apparently the myth was kind of brought to, I guess the rest of the country in the 80s, and I think it was 1982 they mentioned here.

Yeah.

No, here. In a parody of the first Indiana Jones film, Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Hoges as in Paul Hoges Hogan...

Yeah.

...As in Crocodile Dundee featured drop bears in a skit in his television comedy The Paul Hogan Show. So, this for you guys who don't know, this is how Paul Hogan sort of shot to fame. He had this show back in the 70s and 80s, where it was just skits and comedy. So, in the slapstick segment, Cootamundra Hoges endured untold horrors of the Australian bush, including being attacked by killer koalas silently dropping out of trees.

Classic drop bear behaviour, according to the Australian Museum website. So, yeah, apparently the actor Paul Hogan, who is Crocodile Dundee in the Crocodile Dundee movies, is the person who brought the Drop Bear to mainstream Australia, though it had been around since the 30s and 40s in Australia, with the allies working together. You know, and that joke kind of getting around.

And apparently, I think it was that they had drills where for the Second World War, they would go through certain areas in the bush and have to look up in trees for snipers and the person waiting up in the tree would drop things down on them as a kind of, "I gotcha". Like, you just got sniped, bitch. You know, I just dropped some Vegemite on your head. So...

Or a 90kg koala with giant fangs.

I know. So, yeah, it is something that is funny, where at least when I was doing my PhD and master's degree, I met a lot of Americans and other people who'd come over, and we would inevitably end up in the bush doing some, you know, fauna survey somewhere and that joke would always come up.

And a lot of them, because they were biologists, cottoned on to it and were like, that's bullshit. But then others would also be like, are you serious? I had never heard of that. Why had I never heard of that if it's so dangerous?

And it also, I was never a scout, but my friends of mine who were said- And I reckon the sort of hoax thing in the 1980s is probably when it hit mainstream television. But I have a memory earlier of that- Earlier than that of friends when I was a sort of young teenager who were scouts being told these sort of, you know, ghost stories around the campfire when you're out there, there are drop bears.

So, I think, you know, that the myth had already been sitting there around and the term "drop bear" had been used. But, you know, obviously, according to this article, anyway, Paul Hogan was the one who, you know, at least put it out there on public television.

...Yeah. That's the earliest time they can find it. So, yeah, how do you feel about this? Do you feel like it's a funny part of Australian culture? Like a- What would you call it? Not doxing. What's the sort of- Hazing?

Hazing.

Hazing, yeah.

Hazing the newbies.

Doxing is kind of, what, shaming people by getting their work to find out about something they've done online and firing them. Hazing is more like you want to join a certain group...

It's practical joking.

...You have to go through a period of effectively humiliation or trials.

Yeah, exactly.

You know, I think the most common version of it would be, that people would know about would be, you know, if you were in America, going to college, you would be in a frat house, for example, they would haze you before you end up in the frat house. You have to, you know, I don't know, walk around on all fours naked or something and then drink a beer or whatever it is, but.

Have your head shoved down the toilet and all that sort of rubbish.

This seems to be a hazing thing for a lot of- I don't know if they do it to- I guess you would do it to migrants...

It's mostly tourists, I think, rather than migrants.

...Don't speak English and come here. But I- The most common version of this, or the most common time- Types of times that I have ever done this or hear about it is with Americans. So, is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is it a part of Australian humour and culture? Is it bullying?

Yeah, I think- Well, it's definitely bullying if you keep doing it, but.

Yeah, get to the detriment of the person's mental health.

Exactly.

They're literally going camping and they're terrified.

I think there's an element of Australian humour that is about taking the piss. And...

Do you want to explain what that expression means?

It's just, it's teasing, but it's teasing in a light-hearted sense where the other person sort of gets it.

Everyone's getting kind of involved, right?

Yeah.

And its sort of like everyone's part of the joke, as opposed to just...

As opposed to just...

Me calling you a dickhead.

Yeah. And continuing to do so publicly.

Yeah.

But I think there's then that element of that it does stretch over to bullying when- And look I've, as I've said lots of times, I've got lots of American friends and American relatives, and I actually love the country apart from their politics and their lack of gun control.

And Vegemite.

And their lack of Vegemite. Well, you can buy Vegemite in supermarkets there now, so it's fine.

Yeah, but it's too expensive.

I think Americans take themselves way too seriously, just in general and they just don't get the idea of taking the piss. It's, you know...

Well, this is a very British thing that we've gotten from the Brits. I think we've probably taken it to another level...

Yeah.

...But the Brits...

The Irish do it as well...

Yeah.

...I think that's probably a lot of where Austral...

The downtrodden...

Yes.

You know, people in the British Empire. Yeah, for sure. But it's an interesting thing where it kind of works as glue, I feel, like, social glue, the social cohesive glue that brings people together. When you can both take the piss out of one another...

Yeah.

...Because you're different, it brings you- There's almost like this abusive relationship from both sides...

It is. It's a light-hearted abusive relationship, and I've got- Certainly got friends and very good friends that I've had for most of my life where not a large proportion, but a significant proportion of your conversation is basically light-hearted insults, where there is an assumption that we both know this is not true. But there's a subtle element that might be close to true in there, and so...

This happens with my wife and I...

...Never let there be a chance.

...We'll be taking the piss out of each other's cultures. Where she'll just be like, wait, you don't do that? And I'll be like, wait, you do? You fucking weirdo. You know?

Exactly, it's that. And maybe Brazilians get it as well...

I think Brazilians are the...

They're the Australians of South America.

Yeah. I reckon they are; I truly reckon they are. At least the ones that I've met here. I mean, who knows what's waiting for me in Brazil when I go there, maybe I'll be like, completely shocked...

Are you going to get it in Portuguese? That's the thing, because a lot of the piss taking, this is turning it into a verb. A lot of the piss taking...

Piss taking there is a noun, dad. The piss taking.

Yes. Is related to particular terminology, vernacular and ways of speech. And that's something as, you know, and your learners will find is, it's not- If you read the words written down, it's very different from when somebody says it.

Can you think of any examples? I know, I put you on the spot.

You have. I probably will as soon as we stop talking, but...

I guess it's, yeah, it's how you say things, right. Like if you were to say...

Good on you. Good on you is a good one.

Yeah, intonation.

Yeah. If I say- You do something and I come over and go, hey, Pete, good on you.

Well, thanks.

I say, hey, Pete, good on you.

Go fuck yourself.

Exactly. And that's- And it's a very subtle difference. And Australians just hear it instantly...

It's the dropping. It's the good on you, is the nice one, and then the, good on you...

Yeah, good on you. It's that, yeah, it's got the question mark at the end of it...

It's the sarcastic intonation.

...Has that sarcastic question mark of, I'm lying here, you know?

Good on ya.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is funny. It is funny how you just have to learn those things, too. I wouldn't shy away from it, guys. It may be one of those things where you kind of feel like you're sort of deaf or blind when it comes to understanding, you know, what's going on for a long time. But the image will get clearer, or the music will get louder, you know, and clearer the more you practise it. But I definitely have those moments with my wife.

I'm sure she says a lot of shit that I'm like, I have no idea what you mean. In terms of the subtleties, like where she'll say something, and I'll just be like, hmmm. But a lot of it I'm starting to clue onto and sort of get, you know. There'll be so many of these things, like what- She'll always say- It's a really funny thing, I'd have to hear from the other Brazilians here because this is a sample of one.

But any time I make fun of, you know, I don't know, I'll be not necessarily making fun of any single person in her family, but I'll be like, you know, we'll have something that none of us want, and I'll just be like, oh, you could send this to your mum. You know, as a joke.

And she'll say, mandar para sou avó. Send it to your grandmother, you know, sort of constantly. And it's really funny, that's fine. But then as soon as, I think I said to her once- Again when I was saying these things, it was in English.

As soon as I said it in Portuguese and I was like, manda pra sua mãe, porra. You know, send it to your mum, for fuck's sake. She was like, now I'm upset.

Now you've overstepped.

And I was like, wait, what?

What?

You could insult my mum. Insulting my grandmother is worse than insulting my mum in English. Right? Because my grandmother is obviously...

Sacred. Old people are sacred.

Yeah, exactly. Whereas for her, and I don't know if this is a north easterner a thing. Yeah, the mums are sacred, and the grandmother is like, oh, fuck the granny. You know? So, it was a really interesting thing getting used to that cultural difference and that, yeah, where you overstepped the mark. And all of a sudden, you're like, oh, okay. But that's part of it.

Yeah. And I think either you've talked about, or we've talked about the books from the 1960s. The first one was, 'They're a Weird Mob' by, you know, the nom de plume was Nino Culotta.

Yeah.

And it's basically an Italian immigrant comes to Australia and thinks he speaks English, but doesn't really understand the Australian isms...

Let me check just quickly. They're a weird mob Youtube. I have a feeling that this movie is on YouTube, and you can- You guys can watch it for free.

Yeah.

There's bits of it on there...

Yeah, the movies okay. The books are funnier. So, if you get the chance to find the books.

Yeah.

But there's a point in the first book, 'They're a Weird Mob' where he starts to understand that insulting each other is what you do with your mates. And because he just kept feeling like he was being downtrodden...

Exactly.

...Pushed away out of the group, whereas he finally understood that when he was being insulted, he was being included.

Yeah.

And that then became...

That is one of the most difficult things for me to convey to people coming to Australia. I've had that with a few friends who are Brazilian and from other places too that have just said, I don't under- Like I work as a tradie with a bunch of other guys and they're just constantly hounding me. They're constantly making fun of me, calling me a fuckhead or whatever it is, you know, making jokes...

Hey, dickhead, go and pick up the bricks.

...And I'm like, this is that stereotypical male bullying/joking/hazing thing that happens with even Australians where you kind of need to be involved and give back what you get to be a part of the group. Because if you- It's kind of almost this weird, sick thing of if you show that you can't handle it, they're going to go harder...

Yeah.

...Because you can't handle it. And so, it is- For whether or not it's fair, whether or not it's okay...

And they'll go harder because you're not one of them.

Yeah.

But when you push back, you become one of them. And it's...

And that's what I said- I think I said to him...

...There's lots of lots of times where workplace bullying...

Yeah, goes too far.

...It goes too far. And that things that start off as just taking the piss and then just end up being, you know, people's mental health and physical health in some cases, so.

One of the things that I was always telling him, you know, would be to reply, oh, did your mum tell you that joke? You know? That sort of thing where effectively you're taking the piss out of their intelligence.

Yeah, another dad joke.

Just that whole, oh, where did you hear that, your grandmother or something? You know.

Exactly.

And everyone, especially if they...

Or, my grandma used to tell that joke.

Yeah. But if they're the kind of people that get it, they'll laugh at that point. And that's that...

Yeah, you're one of us.

Yeah, exactly. All right, you get it. You can stand up for yourself and your kind of like, you know, fuck off you bogan. You know?

Well, it's one of the great insults, you know? If I call you a bastard, that's an insult. If I call you a mad bastard...

Yeah.

...It's a compliment.

Well, the mad thing at the start, right...

Yeah.

...Means you're awesome...

Yeah, exactly.

...You're great. Yeah, you might be crazy, but you're one of us. Yeah.

So, it is, yeah, it is a difficult thing that you kind of have to get used to here in Australia, especially if you're a male and especially if you're a male working with other men in those kinds of jobs.

...Physical environments often.

Where it's very informal and there's stress and you're angry...

And not many women around. So...

There's no filter.

...Blokes. Yeah.

It is one of those interesting things. I'm always unsure of how much to include of that tradie kind of just interaction and language, because yeah, you will hear swearing all the time. And it's almost like- I remember when I was working at the pizza shop, it would be the same thing, but you would have to turn it on and off. If you're in the front of the house in front of people that are coming in as customers, you're not doing it.

But out the back, everyone's like...

And I find it, as our listeners would be aware, I tend to swear a lot.

Less than me.

Yeah, probably. But even I have that sort of formality filter where- And I don't think about it. It's just, you know, it turns off and it turns on.

Yeah.

And every now and then...

...People listening will have that in their own language.

Exactly, you will, and different circumstances. You know, and it's the where does the dark grey turn into light grey in terms of when you do it or don't do it? But the- I remember, it was a couple of days ago, I was- You know, I can't remember where I was, but I was in a shop somewhere buying something and the guy who was selling it, you know, just over the counter was probably my age, you know, mid-60s.

And he just started...

What? Swearing?

Yeah. And he says, those things are no fucking good, mate. Why don't I get you one of these?

Yeah.

And I went, excuse me.

It's so funny, though, that they can go both directions.

Yeah.

That can go the direction of- And even though you're the kind of person where it's like, in another situation, I would speak exactly the same way.

Yeah. I'd be at the pub where somebody was saying, oh, I bought this new lawnmower, mate. They're no fucking good. Why don't you get a good one?

Yeah.

Whereas- And I wasn't buying lawn mowers, but it was one of those things where I instantly trusted what the guy was talking about.

And that's the other side of it, right? Where you're like, it's almost associated with honesty.

Yeah. But whereas if it was your mum in there, he probably would have behaved completely differently. He wouldn't have turned a hair and go, they're no fucking good, madam, you should get one of these.

We have to tell the story about that restaurant lady that set the...

Ah, the...

I think, we probably talked about that at some sort of point...

The Italian family that had this little restaurant in Fitzroy when I was a university student in the 70s. Yeah. This is my all-time favourite restaurant and it only lasted, I don't know how long, it was, you know, probably a year. And it was...

As in lasted as in the way that she would speak or...?

No, no, no, it just disappeared. Yeah, they made their fortune and left, I suspect. But either that or the police locked them up and took them away. But it was- When I was a university student, nobody- You know, you're an undergraduate student, you've got no money. And so, anywhere that sold good, lots of good cheap food, you know, you go, right, we'll go there.

So, a couple of mates said, oh, I went this really cool restaurant, I want to go down there again tonight, so. And we walked in the front door and there's typically a little old Italian lady all dressed in black. And, you know, she was about 4 foot 10 tall. And you know, when I was 18 years old, she was, you know, she was probably 60, but she could have been 80.

And you know, you walk in the front door, and she'd turn around and go, what do you fucking want? I can't do an Italian accent, so. What do you fucking want? And I- Apologise to all my Italian friends. And looked and went, excuse me?

Yeah...

And it turned out that was all she spoke in English.

Really?

And she would just point to the table, and you'd go and sit down. And the best thing about this place was that none of the cutlery matched, none of the crockery matched, but they'd come and they'd bring you- There was one meal for the day. You know, right, we got spaghetti and meatballs today. And they'd just bring this big bowl, dump it on the table, you'd pay about 4 bucks each and you'd have a glass of wine.

And you know, when I was 18 years old, I didn't drink wine. But as Italians you drink wine. You know, exactly. A glass of wine and as much spaghetti as you could eat for 4 bucks. I thought, this is fantastic. But yeah, this little old lady, she was the greeter, you know, at the door. What do you fucking want?

Not the ideal person for the job.

And I suspect her grandchild, who probably taught her that of, you know, grandma. Nonna, this is what you say.

What the fuck do you want?

...Fuck do you want? Yeah.

So, you said it was like part of the reason you kept going back.

It was, yeah, yeah. It was for the entertainment of getting greeted to the door. And you get your mates in there and go, hang on, shut up, shut up. Shut up, you idiots at the back. Yeah, you're all making noise. You open the door, and she goes, what do you fucking want?

It's funny, isn't it? Because your kind of like, if you were- If that were an Australian woman saying that it would be taken completely differently.

Oh, you'd turn around and walk out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so, it is so funny how contextual that is. And that's why I'm always saying to people like who are learning English, you know, don't- The swearing, obviously, you have to try and work out informal versus formal situations, especially the most stark examples, right. You're not in a job...

Christmas dinner with your grandparents. And yeah, depending on...

What the fuck is this food? You know?

Exactly. Who forgot the brandy butter, again?

You have to get to a point where you no longer care about your grandparents' reactions...

Either that or they swear. And you know, I- If I'm old enough to- You know, if I live long enough to have your children and your sister's children swearing...

Dropping F-bombs...

...Swearing at me, I'll be very happy, I think.

Yeah, you reckon?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not when they're 7, but...

Again, it's funny how that's context dependent, too. At 5 you can't. But if you're 15, yeah, you can tell me to go, fuck myself.

Yeah, exactly. Because you know what it means. Yeah.

But it is interesting how those like- Yeah, people can get away with- I think I'm the same, when I speak Portuguese, I can say and do a lot more things that I think a normal Portuguese speaker would just never be able to get away with.

Do you mean a Portuguese speaker, or a Brazilian?

Well, any of them.

Yeah.

Right, a native speaker of the language. Because they would be expected to understand and get all the nuances. And it's the same- Whenever I catch up with Brazilians, my wife's always like, you're so much funnier in Portuguese, when you're speaking. And I'm like, yeah, because I'm playing with the language and making jokes...

I'm doing Australian. Yeah.

...I kind of want to see how it all works. You know, if I say this are you guys are going to laugh? Is this word- Does this work like this? What's the strength of this, if I say it, like... (Speaks Portuguese) ...or something like that? You know, how do I- I can hear it, but I don't understand how to use it, right, like these swear words?

And so, I'll make jokes and I'll, you know, use these sorts of words. But- And then she'll be like, but in English, you never make those jokes. And I'm like, yeah, because I understand it.

I understand it. I'm not testing it.

...It's not funny if I just suddenly say, you know, fuck wit, you know, out of nowhere in the same context. If you guys were all English speakers, you'd be like, what do you got, Tourette's syndrome or something? Like, what's wrong with you? Anyway, we can finish up this episode here.

We can. We've sworn enough.

I know. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. See you soon.

Bye.

Yeah, go fuck yourselves. See ya.