Transcript of AE 1219 - The Goss: Aussies Are Eating More Crocs Than Ever!

G'day, you mob. Pete here. And this is another episode of Aussie English, the number one place for anyone and everyone wanting to learn Australian English. So today I have a Goss episode for you where I sit down with my old man, my father, Ian Smissen, and we talk about the week's news weather locally down under here in Australia or non-locally, overseas in other parts of the world. Okay. And we sometimes also talk about whatever comes to mind, right? If we can think of something interesting to share with you guys related to us or Australia, we also talk about that in the Goss.

So these episodes are specifically designed to try and give you content about many different topics where we're obviously speaking in English and there are multiple people having a natural and spontaneous conversation in English. So it is particularly good to improve your listening skills. In order to complement that, though, I really recommend that you join the podcast membership or the Academy membership at AussieEnglish.com.au, where you will get access to the full transcripts of these episodes, the PDFs, the downloads, and you can also use the online PDF reader to read and listen at the same time. Okay, so if you really, really want to improve your listening skills fast, get the transcript, listen and read at the same time. Keep practising. And that is the quickest way to level up your English. Anyway, I've been rabbiting on a bit. I've been talking a bit. Let's just get into this episode, guys. Smack the bird. And let's get into it!

How are you going?

I'm good. How are you, Dad?

Good.

Dad's off to the fridge.

I am off to the fridge. Do you want one as well? Hello, pussycat.

So we're using microphones, different microphones, lapel mic.

Yes, we're on mobile mics.

Dad can actually..

So you're going to- hang on. Hang on. I'll give you the fridge sound.

I know, but like..

.. the fridge opening sound.

Yeah, that's it. So he's getting a beer out of the fridge.

Beer? Wait.

So I think we're talking in this one about Aussies going crazy for crocodile.

Oh yeah!

As more people sink their teeth into crocodile products.

Hang on, hang on.

Oh man, that always reminds me of Rodney Rude, the Australian comedian, really crass guy. He would come out to his shows needing to fart and he would be like, 'Hang on!'

'Hang on! Hang on. I got one, I got one, I got one.' And walk up to the mic and then (funny sound).

Which do you want?

I'll have the weaker of the two.

The weaker of the two.

Well that's 6%. So what's this one? 6.2. I guess I'll just have the 6.2. Mix it up. I'll have to..

Are you exaggerating? This one's only 5.9.

Only 5.9?

Yeah.

Yeah. So, 5.8. You recently went to the Northern Territory?

I did. We did an episode on that on the Goss about it. Go check that out. Obviously guys, if you can. But did you eat any crocodile or emu or other weird shit while..

I ate crocodile and it's not weird shit.

No?

Emu is weird shit.

Really. I haven't had either, so I wouldn't know. I've had kangaroo. I've never had platypus, never had koala.

A koala?

I think I'd be..

.. unlikely to get. Yeah.

There's an old joke about that, that- I'll work that one up and tell it in another episode. Yeah. Okay. Yes, I had crocodile. And I've had crocodile before, but we did have crocodile on that last trip.

Nice. Yeah. So there's an article saying "Crocodile buyers are flying out of the kitchen at Yvonne Tani's Cafe in Queensland.."

Crocodile burgers.

Yeah. What am I. What do they say?

Buyers.

Buyers.

Burgers. My God.

Beer?

Yeah. Have another beer. Burgers. I thought people were crocodile. People were going up and buying crocodiles to sell his burgers.

Yeah.

Yeah. So crocodile meat is apparently flying off the menu in a lot of these places up in the north. And, you know, tourists and locals alike apparently are snapping up crocodile meat. In higher numbers than ever before. And so at least for me personally, I feel like it's really good if you can eat native animals. I think a lot of people are kind of freaked out about it, especially in Australia, where we probably can care less about crocodiles and care more about things like kangaroos and God forbid we ate platypus. But I feel like it's a good thing because it means you have an interest in wanting to actually conserve your native species.

And when you've got a species like kangaroos and like crocodiles, where, for better or worse, you're having to cull the numbers when they get to a certain level, yeah, you might as well be using the meat, you know, to- it's better for the environment. You know, you're not, you're not having to farm as many sheep or cows or other non native invasive species that aren't as good on the land. And everything..

Yes, you're getting, you're getting the meat for free in an environmental sense, not in an economic sense, but environmentally you're getting it for free because you're going to take it anyway.

Yeah.

You might as well use it for some commercial purpose.

Well, and crocodile numbers are higher than they've been in what, since like the before the 70s I imagine. Isn't the 70s when the, the law came in to prevent people hunting crocodiles. Because at least saltwater crocodiles have been hunted almost to extinction up in the northern parts of Australia. And I think since then, in the 50 years following, they've really bounced back.

They have.

And numbers are now booming in a lot of these locations. So they're, and they're getting a lot of problem crocodiles in, you know, people's- close to people, campgrounds, farms, all that sort of stuff. So they're having to get rid of a lot anyway and bring numbers down. But then you also have loads of industry stuff like crocodile farms, right? Where they're using the leather, they're using, you know, they're making all sorts of stuff with it and then they can also use the meat.

So I feel like it's a positive thing overall. The same with kangaroo meat and other products.

Yes, exactly.

So yeah. What does it taste like?

It's an old gag, isn't it? Yeah, it tastes like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken, but it's a light white meat. So.

I heard it's kind of like fish, but not as fishy.

Not as fishy and..

.. chicken like..

It's a cross between fish. A cross between a light white fish and chicken.

It'd be interesting if we get to a point where you can just get crocodile from the fish and chip shop.

Yeah, well, we did. We were up there.

That's where you got it, huh?

Yeah. Well, like I added a couple of times, but when we went and got a friend who lives up there, took us to one of the beaches, one of the common beaches that people go to for sunset. And, of course, what do you have on a beach where you've got a sunset? You have fish and chips. And the fish and chip shop is right there. So we went there and they had crocodile nuggets. So like chicken nuggets, but actually made out of crocodile bites.

Would you- do you reckon you would objectively choose those over, say, chicken nuggets or fish nuggets?

Oh, I'd choose them over chicken.

Yeah. Really? Okay. So they're that good?

Yeah, they're good.

Interesting.

But it's not the sort of flavour that you're going to rave about.

Yeah.

But.

What's the absence? Isn't it.. in the article they..

.. inoffensive.

They use it for dishes where they actually want to get the meat to take.

Yeah, so I think the burgers- I read the story again this morning. I think it was a curry burger that they made. So they're really saying this is about- it's a substrate for the curry flavouring.

Sort of like tofu.

Yeah.

You wouldn't be like, oh, I just love eating a..

.. tofu burger.

Tofu nuggets.

Yeah. But, no, crocodiles? It's inoffensive. It's flavourful. And it does. I think it's one of those meats, too, that it, it- unlike most fish, it hangs together in different styles of cooking.

Yeah.

So whereas, Yeah, it's hard to make a fish curry without making the curry and then throwing the fish in right at the end because it'll just fall apart. Whereas the crocodile hang together a bit better.

Yeah, it is. I don't know. It's one of these things I think- I would probably be weird the first time or so. Like, because you don't even give eating chicken or something like that a second thought. But any time you try a new meat or animal, you would be like paying a lot more attention to it. And for some, for one reason or another, I feel like it's going to have a high probability of grossing you out.

Yeah.

Before you become used to it. Right. And we were talking about previous episodes, in a previous episode, like Indigenous Culture and everything. It is one of those things where, through history, when you read about some of the interactions between, say, like the colonists and settlers with the indigenous people here. Whenever they live with them or interacted with them, that initial kind of like, 'Oh, they eat these things.' And you imagine, I imagine that it was the same thing. Was that Bennelong, sitting down with Governor Arthur, right? At the table, and eating Western food and being like, 'What the fuck is this exactly? It tastes like shit.'.

Pretty much!

Have a witchetty grub! Jesus, you know!

I've eaten witchetty grubs.

Yeah, are they good?

Yeah, they are. I haven't eaten them raw. I've eaten them cooked.

I saw something creepy as the other day. And again, this is just from my, you know, ignorant Western position. And it was, I think it was bamboo worms in Vietnam. And they just put them in a little pot and have them with garlic and chilli sauce just rolling around in it. And they absorb the- they must be like on fire, like they must the- poor bugs! But then the trick to eating them is apparently using the chopsticks to get a hold of the head and eating everything except for the head, because they've got large pincers. I was thinking you wouldn't surely you wouldn't just swallow this..

That's a witchetty grub thing. You just grab by the head, take a bite off.

Yeah.

Like I said I've only eaten them cooked, so.

Really.

I can't speak for what they are like raw.

What a witchetty grubs tastes like?

Um. Sweet chicken.

Yeah. Really? Really? Far out. But, like, chewy-like chicken or..

No, very soft.

Yeah. That's what I-.

Again, I don't know what they're like fresh. So.

Yeah. It's funny. Apparently the indigenous people around Victoria, and I think New South Wales during the- would have been springtime, I imagine they would go to some of these sort of mountainous areas and absolutely gorge themselves on the Bogong moth.

Yeah.

So you would have these moths. I think they're Australia's largest moth or one of them.

No, no they're not huge. But they're huge in numbers. So you're getting millions.

They're the size of your hand. They fit in your hand. Bogong Moths.

They're pretty big. Hand Yeah, yeah,

Probably. Wingspan is probably, I don't know, 7 or 8cm.

So there's a bit of a handful.

Yeah.

Not a tiny little moth.

You're not going to eat one of them. You'd eat 100 of them.

Yeah. There's loads of fat in their abdomens. Right. And so indigenous people finding that a difficult food source to get a hold of usually would go there and just scarf them down, apparently. But the numbers have been getting less and less and less, which has become..

But they were extremely seasonal because that was their, you know, they'd come out and they'd off they go in there, you know, lay their eggs and fly around and..

Maybe, too, that they hibernate there? Because I think they were some of- they were a crucial food source for the pygmy possum, right? One of Australia's most charismatic little possums that live up in the Alpine region. And they kind of live in these rock screes.

Yes.

Right. Which get covered in snow, but they can sort of live below that.

They live under the, under the snow, in the rocks.

Yeah. And they would eat a lot of these moths but..

Yeah.

Yeah. Sidetracked. What other native animals do you reckon would be worth chucking on the menu if you could go to any restaurant and be like,

Well, I've eaten kangaroo and I've eaten emu. Emus. Yeah, you sort of go, what's the point? Because it. It's one of those weird ones. I've only eaten it in minced. I haven't had an emu steak and I think it'd be one of those things where it'd be almost impossible to cook as a whole steak.

Yeah.

But yeah, because it's very lean, as is kangaroo burger. So I've only eaten an emu burger and it was just. Flavourless. So. So. So you go. Well, yeah. All right. You know, if I have to.

If I was starving to death!

I mean there's plenty of other things to eat.

A restaurant with..

Kangaroo's really nice.

Oh, yeah. I lived off that for years at uni.

I've eaten- not Australian, but I've eaten snake.

Really?

In Hong Kong at a street market.

Geez, Dad. Adventurous!

Grasshoppers.

Yep. Had them too.

Roast grasshoppers.

I think I'd try scorpions. I've seen..

I didn't go to scorpions and spiders. They had those as well. But no..

You pussy.

Snake and- snake and..

Grasshoppers!

Grasshoppers were as far as I..

Why do spiders gross you out more than grasshoppers?

Well, grasshoppers you look at and go, 'All right, there's something to eat.' But spiders, what is there to eat? Like, this..

The abdomen, the legs? I don't know. It depends on the size.

But anyway, didn't eat them.

I think spiders would freak me out a bit too. I think the hair on them- Kel is telling me that they in northern Brazil they eat tarantulas. Yeah. I mean I assume indigenous people are probably, not the average Brazilian wandering around, but..

Get out of your supermarket, buy a bucket of tarantulas.

But you just chuck them on the fire and then they're ready..

.. hair off them, and..

I know. It is pretty funny. I wonder- you wonder how long it takes, right, for those people who did, say, colonise Australia and then end up stranded somewhere. You know, like Buckley, right. Running off and living with the indigenous people here in Victoria, you're kind of like, 'How long did it take him to get normalised with the food?' Is this the kind of thing where initially you kind of push back? You're like, 'Yeah, I'm not eating that shit.' And then starvation comes..

Starvation! After a few days..

I'll eat whatever!

After a few days it'd be, yeah..

But sensibilities are out the window. I don't care..

Again, and depending on time of the year and so on. But you know, because he landed in that initial colony..

In Sorrento.

In Sorrento, Yeah. And ended up on the other side of the bay..

Right here, effectively. Where we're talking now.

Effectively.

It'd be interesting if he wandered through this area..

Well he would have.

Yeah.

And. And so he would have walked all the way around the bay over a few years of things and most of the indigenous people around there were eating seafood. As well as, you know, other mammals and birds and things. But, but the other thing too, is that at that time, around certainly at the top of the bay, and I suspect down in Corio Bay, would have been a lot of expansive wetlands with lots of birds.

Well, I think swans,

Hundreds of thousands of swans and ducks.

Yeah. Just raid their nests.

And yeah. And so you're eating swan eggs, but eating ducks as well. And we still eat duck. Yeah. So, um, so I don't think it would have been, well, you know, throw the goanna on the fire and you know, in this part of Australia.

So it's harder to get your hands on one I think, than a bird.

Yeah. It'd be a lot harder to find a goanna than a duck.

Around here, yeah, for sure. I know. Yeah. So, Yeah. What would you chuck on?

I don't know. I'd eat possum.

You reckon?

Yeah. Not in Australia because they're protected, but in New Zealand. I don't know whether.

Imagine anything..

I'm surprised- I'm surprised there aren't possum sort of pies and things in New Zealand because they hate them.

Well they're invasive.

They're invasive. Yeah. They're Australian. They're horrible over there.

I feel like that could be something that would have been solved by Dame Edna.

Obviously we've eaten. I mean, I've eaten lots of venison. Deer. But, you know, they..

Have you had camel?

You have it in camel.

Yeah.

Yeah. Is that any good or is that..

Yeah. Camel is pretty good.

Yeah. You had camel milk.

Camel? No, I haven't had camel milk.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, it's very rich, apparently.

I think a lot of middle Easterns favour camel milk over, say, cows. Milk cows from what I've heard. But yeah. No.

And obviously goat.

Yeah, but native Australian animals, I guess I'm thinking about.

Yeah.

What do you reckon would be the worst tasting native Australian animal?

Seal?

I think a pelican.

Seals? Well, fish eaters. Fish eaters would be pretty- fish eating birds and mammals.

Cormorants.

Cormorants.

Seagulls.

Seagulls.

Seagulls would be offensive.

No, seagulls would taste like potato.

Well, they would, with chips.

Yeah. Oh, God.

Well, maybe marsupial moles.

Yeah.

Will you get your hands on them? Yeah.

Yeah.

Cool. All right.

I think- I think any animal that eats fish is probably going to be a problem.

So you wouldn't eat other humans, huh?

No, I'm not.

All right, well, I guess it's a short episode.

It sure feels very short.

Do you want to add? Nothing?

Done.

All right. That's great.

Go on and eat crocodile.

See you guys!

See you!