Transcript of AE 936 - The Goss: The World's Most 'Instragrammable Bird' & Australia's Oldest-Ever Person

G'day, you mob. Pete here, and this is another episode of Aussie English, the number one place for anyone and everyone wanting to learn Australian English. So, today I have a Goss' episode for you where I sit down with my old man, my father, Ian Smissen, and we talk about the week's news, whether locally down under here in Australia or non-locally overseas in other parts of the world.

Okay, and we sometimes also talk about whatever comes to mind. Right. If we can think of something interesting to share with you guys related to us or Australia, we also talk about that in The Goss'. So, these episodes are specifically designed to try and give you content about many different topics where we're obviously speaking in English and there are multiple people having a natural and spontaneous conversation in English.

So, it is particularly good to improve your listening skills. In order to complement that, though, I really recommend that you join the podcast membership or the Academy membership at AussieEnglish.com.au, where you will get access to the full transcripts of these episodes, the PDFs, the downloads, and you can also use the online PDF reader to read and listen at the same time.

Okay, so if you really, really want to improve your listening skills fast, get the transcript, listen and read at the same time, keep practising and that is the quickest way to level up your English. Anyway, I've been rabbiting on a bit. I've been talking a bit. Let's just get into this episode, guys. Smack the bird and let's get into it.

So, the other day I was walking around, I'm trying to smash out 10,000 steps a day, you know, about 8 kilometres. And the good thing about new development zones like this one in Curlewis is that they put parks everywhere.

Yeah, there's green corridors everywhere.

Yeah, things for nature. I mean, and the other thing that I've noticed about Curlewis is because they put banksia plants throughout all these streets, we get heaps of these black cockatoos, yellowtail black cockatoos. You can just hear them constantly and they're just eating the banksia things. I don't know if it's seasonal, but at the moment they're all over the place. It's probably the same group that I see every day.

...Also eat the cypress pinecones, which are not native. And so, there's a lot of the old farming land that used cypress because it grew quickly, and it was dense. And you make this effectively tree height hedges.

Wind wall, right?

Yeah. And for wind protection, so there's a lot of those around as well. And that is seasonal whenever they've got the new cones coming up.

Yeah. So anyway, I was going for my walk, and I noticed this huge shadow sitting on the top of a sign when I was wal- It was at night that I was walking through one of these little areas and was like, Jesus Christ, what the hells that? And, you know, sort of move myself around so that I could see what it was in the moonlight, and it was a huge tawny frogmouth, you know. So, yeah.

Anyway, so I found this article and these guys are just really cool animals. I think they're just the weirdest looking, shocking...

They are.

...Face birds, like just...

Yeah. They're basically a mouth and eyes with legs.

That's it. That's it. So, yeah. Pretty much like a snake, right. Except with a mouth and eyes and a bum.

Yes.

So, researchers find that the frog mouth is the world's most Instagrammable bird.

Instagrammable.

That's a nice word there.

That's bizarre...

Able to be Instagrammed.

Yeah. This is one of these ones where a brand name becomes a noun. It's a proper noun. Then it becomes a noun...

...This would be an adjective. Right.

And then it becomes a verb, the verb to Instagram. And then we turn the verb into an adjective by making it the ability to do something that- So, yeah. It's sort of this Instagram evolution of language where you go from a proper noun to an adjective.

YouTubable.

Yeah. YouTubable.

Googable.

Well the verb to Google. Let's Google that.

Yeah, well YouTube it.

Yeah.

Facebook it.

Facebook it.

So, to read out a little bit here, study of likes on the photo sharing app has perhaps surprisingly deemed the Australian and Southeast Asian native most aesthetically appealing. That's surprising in and of itself, more so than it's this bird.

Looks like a baby.

You reckon?

Yeah. Well...

It looks like a baby?

But it's got baby features.

Yeah. As in huge eyes.

...The big, huge eyes and that's, you know, you look at dolls, teddy bears, you know, baby animals. Even the adults just look like the most ridiculous things. But they're- They got the big eyes and the big smile.

So, if someone were to ask what the most instagrammable bird in the world would be, it's unlikely that the frog mouth, whose main aesthetic goal is to look like a jagged tree branch, would be front of mind. But it seems science says otherwise. The dishevelled looking Australian and...

Dishevelled.

Brutal.

That is brutal. They're not dishevelled.

...It's like homeless.

Look up the meaning of dishevelled. Dishevelled means- Hang on.

Yeah, like hair everywhere, scruffy.

I can't do dishevelled now because I don't have long hair anymore.

Unkempt, right. Messy.

Yes, messy. But they're not.

So, the dishevelled looking Australian and Southeast Asian native taking out the top spot in a study from Germany's university hospital Jena. Why on Earth was University Hospital Jena studying this? Which aimed to see which bird species reigned supreme on the photo sharing app. The study, published last week by German researchers, sorry guys, Dr Katja Thömmes and Dr Gregor Hayn-Leichsenring...

Leichsenring.

...Leichsenring set out to analyse nearly 30,000 bird photos from nine popular avian photography Instagram accounts, using an algorithm to record which photos comparatively attracted the most likes on the photo sharing platform. And there you go, the tawny frogmouth won.

Yeah, they don't- What they don't say is how they did the numbers.

I guess they would have just worked out...

Yeah. Is it proportional?

Yeah.

But if there was one...

How many likes? Which got the most likes? Total likes or was it one photo that just got all those likes?

...One photo gets a million likes or there were 10,000 photos of tawny frogmouths and they all got one like each, but there were no other photographs.

So, are tawny frogmouths owls, Dad?

No, they are not.

But they look like owls, and they hunt at night.

Well, in fact their scientific name...

This was pretty cool.

...It comes from- Yeah. I...

You got it in front of you?

I do. Podargus strigoides. Strigoides actually means, looks like an owl and podargus comes from a Greek word meaning Gout and...

Brutal.

Gout, for those of you who don't know the word in English, it's a disease typically used to be thought of as a fat old rich man's disease because it's basically where uric acid crystals form in the joints of particularly the feet, you know, big toes and so on. So, it's very difficult to walk if you've got really painful feet. And so, their called that because they actually don't walk very well.

They very rarely walk; they fly and then land on a branch and hold on.

Because people with gout.

People with gout, yeah. People with gout with wings, no.

That's it. People with gout, they just- They can't walk so they fly.

...End up looking like tawny frogmouths. No, so tawny frogmouths don't walk very well. So, I think the original person who obviously looked at it walking went, oh, its, you know, its bumbling along...

Dudes got gout.

...gout. Yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. They're awesome birds, though. They are really cute. Look these guys up if you haven't already guys.

They are really good. So, yeah, they look like owls but they're not.

So, what does it say here? They got an IAA score, works by taking the absolute number of likes from a post and then factoring in the size of the account and the time the post has been public. It then produces an expected number of likes the post should receive and scores it based on the percentage of likes it received over or under this. And the tawny frogmouth averaged nineteen leaving with a respectable margin.

The IAA score.

What is it? While on the other hand, the Sandpiper was given a negative twenty-three. Brutal.

Sandpipers, are cute.

This is almost like, you know, face dating apps where you judge people based on their appearance, but for birds.

I'm surprised like, yeah, I think twenty frogmouths are great, but I'm surprised it's not a parrot.

You don't reckon?

Yeah.

Just too many parrots, Dad. I think the tawny frogmouth, though, probably also is just a weird looking bird. So, people see that and their like, well, Jesus. Give that a like.

Yeah.

Whereas they see a parrot and they're like, oh, yeah. It's a parrot.

Exactly.

So, what would you do then if you got to vote on Australia's most, you know, cute or attractive or Instagrammable birds, what bird would you be most likely to share a photo of on Instagram?

If I wanted the most likes?

Meh, what about pelicans?

Pelican I...

They are fricking weird looking birds.

...Not that I'm trying to get people to look at my Instagram account. Look at my Instagram account, and I probably got more photographs of pelicans than any other bird on there.

Well, they're big and they're freaky looking and they've got these big eyes that are just, you know, don't...

But that big bill, well, it's just a basically a, you know...

Paddle.

...Pouch of skin.

Especially when they catch something, and they try and eat it and they just look so uncoordinated. I saw a bunch down at the Queenscliff boat ramp a while back and I think...

...Hang around there for the fishermen.

Yeah, some- A fishermen came in with his boat and tossed over a fish that obviously, for whatever reason, he didn't want and it was too big for any of the pelicans, so they just kept fighting over it and trying to swallow it and then having to, you know, just puke it up or whatever, because it was like one of these ones that was like flat, but really sort of tall, the fish.

So, it was like just it couldn't obviously fit in its throat. Yeah, but- Yeah, they're weird looking birds. So, what would you pick?

A pelican.

Yeah. You reckon.

Yeah. I reckon their pretty good. Well, that and a parrot. I, you know, they're a- but, yeah, you know, you're right, there are so many Australian parrots, but I think sulphur-crested cockatoos, they're the funniest birds.

Why is that?

Because they're idiots, but they're intelligent idiots. Because they're just smart arses.

What do you reckon makes parrots so clever, especially cockatoos? What is it that underlies that?

...Evolutionary trigger...

Yeah.

...Decided that an entire order of birds was going to be smart. Now, you could argue that corvids as a family, totally unrelated family, are smart as well.

But it's almost like corvids don't have a sense of humour.

No.

It seems like parrots have a sense of humour...

Corvids are clever like a fox.

Yeah.

Parrots are clever like a stand-up comedian.

Yeah. And they know it.

They know it, exactly.

Like, that's the thing that blows my mind, I think about a lot of these parrots.

...Cockatoos and African parrots, African greys and things like that.

Yeah. Just how it seems like they're really switched on.

...Sense of humour.

Yeah. And you wonder what selected for- I guess, sociality in these animals...

Well, they're social, yeah. Cockatoos are very social. You get very large groups of...

Yeah.

...Of them and who knows. But you get very large groups of starlings, but starlings aren't particularly smart. I had no idea, that's one of those mysteries of sort of avian evolution as to what was that little trigger that somewhere in, you know- Particularly the Cockatoo family, but the, you know, the just the whole order of birds...

See what we find here on Google.

What was the trigger to make them so smart.

I love this. When you type this sort of stuff in. Why are cockatoos so, and then it says loud, crazy, expensive, funny, cuddly, needy, dirty, pink, loud?

But if you want to- Do yourself a favour, if you want to look up stupid parrots, there are several, in fact, there are a lots of YouTube videos of Australian cockatoos, sulphur-crested cockatoos dancing. Just Google or YouTube the verb, to YouTube, sulphur- Cockatoo dancing. They are ridiculous.

Yeah. I'd love to get one as a pet, but I know it would out live me.

A long way.

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, one of our local wildlife rescue places has cockatoos there that have, you know, just been donated to them by, you know, estates after people have died.

Yeah.

These people who've lived into their 80s and got a cockatoo as a pet when they were kids and the cockatoos still alive and they're not. Just- They can live for 100 years. It's just crazy. And again, what's the evolutionary thing to- You know, these are big birds. Your average little budgerigars, if you get 10 years out of a budgerigar, you've done very well.

What have we got here? We've got a whole bunch. Yeah, same with galahs. So, white cockatoos 40 to 60 years, galahs are 40 years, sulphur-crested cockatoos 20 to 40 years, Carnaby's black cockatoos 25 to 50 years ago...

This is just the average lifespan in the wild. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's crazy. Sydney's old croc of a cockie was a legend at 120.

Yeah.

A cockatoo lived to 120 years. Jesus. Well, I guess that leads us on to the last part of this story, we could talk about...

Yeah.

...The oldest ever Australian.

The oldest ever Australian.

That's a good segway. Good job, Pete.

Good job. Well done.

Yeah. This is crazy...

Thanks to Kruger. Good on ya, Dexter. Happy Birthday a while ago. He's gone past his 111th birthday, three months into his 112 year.

Jesus. So, he was born in 1910. I think we've spoken about him on the podcast before, actually. Yeah, we have.

Yeah. I think maybe, yeah, when he turned 111. Yeah. In January. So...

Insane.

But yeah, he's still going on. And look, the one takeaway which wasn't in the thing...

...Was doing yoga, I think.

There's two takeaways, he does his daily exercise, which is a bit of yoga, and he goes for a walk and the manager of the old people's home that lives in says he's a lot fitter and brighter than most of our 80- and 90-year old's...

Jesus. You wonder if they just look at him and they're just like, God damn.

Yeah. And look, there's a couple of ones that I think his son, his 74-year-old son said his father's simple lifestyle and balanced diet, complete with plenty of salt, sugar and fat and a lot to do with his age.

Yeah.

But I also love the one line about his weekly delicacy he credits to his longevity, chicken brains.

Jesus.

So...

They always say that and then it turns out it's genetic and they have the genes that allow them.

You know, chickens have a head and that in...

Their brains.

...Is some brains and they are delicious little things. There's only one bite. So, chicken brains is the secret to long life, if you believe Dexter. What do you think it would be like getting to 111 years? Do you reckon you'd be able to remember much of what actually happened when you were, say, a 10-year-old, a 20 year, 30-year-old?

...Clearly, Dexter's still got his wits about him, he's not suffering from any forms of dementia or something.

He's 80 years older than me.

Yeah.

Like, that's- It's insane. I highly, highly doubt that I will be 111.

...Become an old person at 80. Yeah, so. Well, that would be me at what? So, if that was 80 years from now, it would be 2101. Right. So, that's I've got to get to 111, or 110 to get into the next century. Now I've got to do it, all right. There's a target. There's a target. What do you think his-?

I always wondered, and I worry about sort of talking to my grandparents about this, although ironically, I think Nana and Grandpa, my mother's parents are a lot more open about death and age and being old than they were when I was younger.

Yeah. Well...

When they were younger.

...Well, you know, every day anybody lives you're a day closer to dying. And I think when you live a long time- If you get into the 90s, you've got to realise that, you know, there's no long-term plans here. I'm not going to go out and get a 30-year loan to buy another house, you know, this is- So, I think people are much more open to that and accepting that, you know, the inevitable It's probably just a reality of things, but...

It just...

...Doesn't mean you want to die, it's just that...

No, for sure.

...You just accept that there's a fair chance that I'm going to die in the next few years.

Well...

Which is different until you get- I'm sure until you get into your 70s or 80s, you don't think like that. No. Well, how do you think about it?

I don't think like that.

But as in like, I'm going to die soon.

Well, you don't think you're going to die soon. I don't, you know, have a real- I don't want to die, but I don't have a fear of death.

Yeah.

I don't have a fear of being dead because I don't...

I don't think many people have a fear of being dead, unless they're worried about going to hell.

Yeah, well, I have no religious beliefs at all. So, in fact, my religious beliefs are anti-religious. But that's- It's...

The transition between living and death that I freak out about and I just hope it's quick and painless.

...Dying process is the- And again, it's not a fear, it's just that, you know, you don't want to go through something that is going to be long and painful. Yeah, exactly. So, but yeah, somebody like Dexter- Yeah, imagine what he can remember, the things that he's seen, and they mention it here...

...He's lived through the First World War...

...Lived through the First World War, the Second World War, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Middle Eastern Wars...

The Cold War.

...Involved in, the Cold War.

Well, he was alive before we had planes right or around the time the very, very first planes were, you know, just flying a few hundred metres? Yeah, he was around before cars or at least, you know, combustion engine cars right on the roads...

There were a few around.

But that wouldn't have been widespread. That would not have been...

Your average person didn't own them until the 1930s.

And he was a cattle grazier. Right. So, it's crazy to think...

...Horse around and...

He was living a pretty rough life as well, you would imagine. It wouldn't have been a kettle of fish, just- I mean, kettle of fish. Something easy where it would have been a completely different kettle of fish to someone who, like myself, is just living by working in a studio, chilling out.

Well, his son, he says he lived through a period that it was a lot less stressful than what we as a society face today.

Yeah.

And so, you look at that and go, it's probably true. And even, you know, Dexter himself talks about, you know, computer age and, you know, technology and he says just makes life more stressful because it's just quicker and you don't get time to relax.

Yeah. Do you ever get nostalgic about the past in Australia and wish, you know, for instance, would it been really cool to have been a cattle grazier 100 years ago where you just get to hang out with your animals, with your horse, with your nearest family?

Bloody hard work, though.

Physically.

Physical Work.

Yeah, but it's simpler in terms of...

Yeah. Not a lot of stress other than drought and flood and fire, you know, natural disasters are about the only stress that you have.

Well, Indigenous people that you're potentially encroaching on the land of theirs...

Well, if you go back far enough, yeah.

Bush rangers.

Bushrangers.

Yeah. But yeah, congratulations, Dexter. That's absolutely insane. I can't imagine getting to 111...

And 124 days.

Yeah, and 124 days. I guess you count it at that point. Do you get another letter from the queen at 110?

I don't know. I don't know. Well, you had to, I wonder whether the queen will send herself a congratulatory letter on a 100th birthday.

If she makes it.

Well, I think she'll live till she's, you know, she'll outlive her children, I reckon.

Prince Charles is just like, God damn it.

Too bloody stubborn to die like her mother.

All right. Well, I guess we're finishing there, guys. But thanks for joining us. See you next time.

Bye.

Peace.

Alrighty, you mob. Thank you so much for listening to or watching this episode of The Goss'. If you would like to watch the video, if you're currently listening to it and not watching it, you can do so on the Aussie English Channel on YouTube. You'll be able to subscribe to that, just search "Aussie English" on YouTube.

And if you're watching this and not listening to it, you can check this episode out also on the Aussie English podcast, which you can find via my free Aussie English podcast application on both Android and iPhone. You can download that for free or you can find it via any other good podcast app that you've got on your phone. Spotify, podcast from iTunes, Stitcher, whatever it is.

I'm your host, Pete. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you have a ripper of a day, and I will see you next time. Peace.